Don’t Be so Hard on Yourself

Today’s post is a friendly reminder not to be so hard on yourself. 

The names you call yourself and internal scolding you do cause far more damage than that received from others. 

Love yourself.

If you didn’t reach your goal, congratulate your effort, and focus on how you can improve. 

If you didn’t try your best, thank yourself for acknowledging that, and work harder next time. 

You’re doing fine. You’re exactly where you need to be. 

Progress

Have you spent 30 minutes today getting closer to your goal? 

If you have, you’re making progress. 

If you haven’t, keep asking yourself this until it’s done. 

Don’t go to sleep until you’ve spent at least 30 minutes working on yourself, making a plan of action, getting closer, in some way shape or form, to the thing that you want. 

Have a great day!

What Are You Afraid Of?

Your actions really do start with your thoughts. 

If you think “I could never…” then you probably will never. You’ve already stopped yourself. 

It all starts with believing. 

If you believe that you can achieve something, then your mind will start working on ways to make it happen. You don’t have to know how right away. It will come to you. It will surprise you. 

Most of our negative thoughts come from fear. 

“I want to go out and make friends, but I’m afraid people won’t like me or I’ll embarrass myself so I stay home.”

“I want to make more money, but I’m afraid I can’t get a raise or a better paying job, so I’ll just accept what I have instead of trying.”

Take the time to analyze your thoughts. Don’t let your fears crush your dreams. 

You can do it.

You’ll get there. 

When You’re Feeling Down…

Make lists. 

Even if you’re not a writer, you can do this. Grab a journal, notepad, or even type a note on your phone.

Make a list of positive memories. I don’t mean things like “got ice cream yesterday” I mean things that make you grin like an idiot when you think of them, like “I gave Tom a birthday gift and he was blown away by how thoughtful it was and I was never happier to see him so happy.”

Make a playlist of songs that motivate you, inspire you, and/or make you want to dance. 

When you start to feel sad, turn on this playlist. If you’re in an environment where you can, dance. Move your body and forget your worries, even if you’re a bad dancer (I’m terrible) it’s impossible to be sad while you’re dancing.

If you’re, say at work, or something, this is where your written list comes in handy. Read through your good memories, and smile as you read them. Physically smiling will impact your mood. 

As always, I want to mention that there is nothing wrong with being sad and sometimes you need to cry it out and it’s okay to do that. But when you need a pick me up or you need to power through the day before you can make it home and cry it out, try meditating on your happy list. 

Maybe after you won’t feel like crying anymore 🙂

Not All Negative Memories are Bad

I’m currently reading The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz. The focus of the last chapter was to only deposit and withdrawal positive memories from your memory bank.

To start, I agree with the idea.

I think we should all do our very best to focus on our positive memories, however, I think we should keep in mind that negative thoughts, experiences, and memories are inevitable.

Negative memories are valuable. How would you know not to grab the handle of the boiling pot on the stove if not for that memory of nearly burning yourself?

What about your past relationships? There is a reason that each of those relationships ended.

If you could make all the negative memories disappear so all that was left was the good things, would you not be sitting around wondering why you’re no longer with that person? You may even go back to them until they remind you why you left in the first place.

They key isn’t to focus only on the positive, it is to acknowledge the negative and then supplement it with something positive.

Think of someone close to you that you’ve lost, whether it be to death, they moved away, or you simply grew apart.

Thinking of this person makes you sad. Acknowledge that. Let it in. Feel it.

Now think of how good that person made you feel when they were a part of your life. Think of the times you laughed together. Think of their smile.

You could not possibly miss this person as much as you do, or feel as sad as you do without them, if they had not been so wonderful. If not for the positive memories they gave you, you would have nothing to mourn.

Would you rather go through life never feeling happy because you don’t want to feel sad when it ends?

Or would you rather embrace the lows so you can experience the highs?

We have to experience sorrow to appreciate joy.

Pain keeps us safe. It makes us put on sunscreen, and stop holding our breath after a certain point.

Next time you’re sad, or angry, or scared, just think about how happy, how excited, and how elated you will be when that next great thing comes around.