One of my favorite songs right now is Headlights by Cimorelli. In particular, the lyric that speaks to me is “I was fearless before I got let down. I wonder if I can get back to that place now.”
It reminds me of being a little kid, and having this whole vision of your adult life… but then as we grow up and things don’t quite go how we planned, we start to question our dreams, and many of us give up. And then all we want to do is be kids again. To return to the bliss of waking up without bills, without responsibilities… just dreams.
The other day I had a conversation with a girl at work about why we don’t wear makeup, and we both agreed that we don’t have enough time in the morning. I told her it was taking longer than expected to get my apartment together, but once I was completely moved in, I planned to start getting up an hour earlier each day to meditate, read scripture, have a cup of coffee, and put on a little makeup.
Her response: “Good luck with that… I tried it, and here I am still rolling out of bed 20 minutes before I have to be at work.”
The response bothered me, not because I think she was trying to put me down, but because she gave up on her goal of rising early and accomplishing something before work. I asked her about it, and once we dove a little deeper we discovered that we give ourselves so little time in the morning because we don’t like our jobs. When our alarms go off we keep hitting the snooze button trying to prolong the inevitable.
The difference? She thinks this job is it for her. I know this job is a means to an end. A stepping stone, if you will.
I tell you this because I want to remind you that you have a choice.
Let me be the first to say, I know it’s hard. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve given up on my dreams. How many terrible days I’ve had when I’ve said I would rather die than keep struggling through this life – and meant it.
But those are the days that remind me how badly I need to believe that God is real. That I have a purpose. That I belong here. That there is more to life than work, eat, sleep, and repeat.
Maybe that girl was right. Maybe I won’t start giving myself an extra hour in the morning. But as long as I have the goal, I’m going to keep setting my alarm, turning up the volume, and moving my phone to the other side of the room. I’m going to keep trying.
I don’t care what anyone says, you do get points for trying. And this is coming from a girl who often hears “What beats a failure but a try?” and argues “I have to try before I can fail.”
So I’ll turn that around for you. Trying doesn’t necessarily beat failing, but sometimes you have to fail to succeed. If you’ve never experienced sorrow, do you really know joy? When you fail, you can learn a new way to approach something. You feel something you don’t like, and get motivated and inspired not to feel that again.
That little kid inside of you still exists. The dreamer. They’re counting on you. Don’t let them down.
One day at a time. Just keep pushing, and you will get there.
I’ve been feeling like God isn’t listening to me lately, so a friend told me to take a week to ask for nothing and just thank God for the things I have. I’m going to try that this week.
If you don’t believe in God, I still think this can be helpful if you’re spiritual at all, regardless of your higher power. My friend suggested to think of my relationship with God as my relationship with a good friend. If you’re always asking for something, is that friend going to keep you around?
That got me thinking about all relationships in general… if your relationships aren’t going the way you want them to, consider what you’re contributing to them. If you’re happy with what you’re contributing but not happy with what you’re getting, reconsider that friendship, or maybe just have a conversation with that person and evaluate your needs.
Remember to take time for yourself. Breathe.
It’s going to be okay.
You’re exactly where you need to be.
Fear can also be crippling.
When it comes to being afraid, we need to evaluate what we want and what’s stopping us from getting there.
If you want to go rock climbing but are afraid of getting injured due to lack of experience, that’s probably a good fear. Start with a climbing gym and instructors.
If you want to travel abroad but are scared you won’t like it, or can’t adapt to the new culture, etc. that’s a crippling fear.
You aren’t going to know whether you like something until you try it – and if you’re not in physical danger, your fear is most likely irrational and holding you back.
When it comes to trying something new, talk with people who have accomplished your goal. Bring someone with you if you want. Get a mentor or a coach.
Go get your dreams!
How you feel about yourself has a lot to do with your attitude and outlook to take on the day.
Someone can tell you you’re beautiful over and over, but if you don’t believe it yourself then that means nothing.
As you prepare for the day, put on something you love.
Make sure you’re comfortable – don’t tackle a full work day in heels if you’re not comfortable walking in them.
If you want to be seen as a serious professional, dress like one. Make sure you feel like one.
It’s simple, but it can have a big impact.
If you hate the color of your shirt, feel your outfit is too revealing, think you look inferior to your coworkers, or that you look too fat or too thin…those thoughts are going to keep returning throughout the day.
If you love how you look, that will give you confidence, and people will notice.