The Kid Inside

One of my favorite songs right now is Headlights by Cimorelli. In particular, the lyric that speaks to me is “I was fearless before I got let down. I wonder if I can get back to that place now.”

It reminds me of being a little kid, and having this whole vision of your adult life… but then as we grow up and things don’t quite go how we planned, we start to question our dreams, and many of us give up. And then all we want to do is be kids again. To return to the bliss of waking up without bills, without responsibilities… just dreams.

The other day I had a conversation with a girl at work about why we don’t wear makeup, and we both agreed that we don’t have enough time in the morning. I told her it was taking longer than expected to get my apartment together, but once I was completely moved in, I planned to start getting up an hour earlier each day to meditate, read scripture, have a cup of coffee, and put on a little makeup.

Her response: “Good luck with that… I tried it, and here I am still rolling out of bed 20 minutes before I have to be at work.”

The response bothered me, not because I think she was trying to put me down, but because she gave up on her goal of rising early and accomplishing something before work. I asked her about it, and once we dove a little deeper we discovered that we give ourselves so little time in the morning because we don’t like our jobs. When our alarms go off we keep hitting the snooze button trying to prolong the inevitable.

The difference? She thinks this job is it for her. I know this job is a means to an end. A stepping stone, if you will.

I tell you this because I want to remind you that you have a choice.

Let me be the first to say, I know it’s hard. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve given up on my dreams. How many terrible days I’ve had when I’ve said I would rather die than keep struggling through this life – and meant it.

But those are the days that remind me how badly I need to believe that God is real. That I have a purpose. That I belong here. That there is more to life than work, eat, sleep, and repeat.

Maybe that girl was right. Maybe I won’t start giving myself an extra hour in the morning. But as long as I have the goal, I’m going to keep setting my alarm, turning up the volume, and moving my phone to the other side of the room. I’m going to keep trying.

I don’t care what anyone says, you do get points for trying. And this is coming from a girl who often hears “What beats a failure but a try?” and argues “I have to try before I can fail.”

So I’ll turn that around for you. Trying doesn’t necessarily beat failing, but sometimes you have to fail to succeed. If you’ve never experienced sorrow, do you really know joy? When you fail, you can learn a new way to approach something. You feel something you don’t like, and get motivated and inspired not to feel that again.

That little kid inside of you still exists. The dreamer. They’re counting on you. Don’t let them down.

One day at a time. Just keep pushing, and you will get there.

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