Searching the Past

Have you seen a post on social media that says something like “that person is your ex for a reason – don’t let them back in your life?”

There’s another side to this, and it applies to friendships as well. 

Not all relationships end badly. Maybe you just grew apart. Maybe someone moved away and wasn’t able to keep in touch or visit as they wanted. Maybe you mutually decided to take some time apart. 

The bottom line is, at one point, that person loved you. That friend wanted to talk every day – and this is why we go back. 

When we’re lonely, experience a break-up, the loss of a friend, feel in-loved etc. we tend to reach out to those who once loved us; those who once made us feel good; because we want to believe it was real. We want to feel good again. 

It’s important to recognize this because it’s normal to want to reconnect – but also be wary of why the relationship ended. 

An old friend you lost touch with due to busy schedules may also want to reconnect and be a positive addition to your life today. 

An old friend who was abusive may also want to reconnect but could be a negative addition – though this person also could have changed.

When it comes to filling the void of loneliness, take some time to think about the people you want in your life, the people you’re willing to work for, and the people who are willing to work for you. 

It doesn’t make sense to completely forget the past – our past memories and experiences are what made us who we are today. They taught us and grew us. 

It’s okay if you want to call an old friend. 

It’s okay to miss them, and it’s okay to try. If they don’t reach back – that’s on them. 

If you got out of a bad situation for good reason, it’s not okay to return to it out of loneliness. 

You will find love again. 

You will find happiness again.

Maybe platonically, maybe romantically. 

Maybe in a different, unexpected form.

You deserve all the love you keep trying to give to others – believe that. It will come.


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