You Owe Them Nothing

I took a break from posting for a bit because I wasn’t feeling authentic…I was spending a great deal of time looking for good quotes to inspire other people but realized I wasn’t believing the words or feeling inspired myself.

After various conversations that ended in anger because people didn’t “get” what I was trying to say, or them telling me what I need to do to find happiness and fulfill my dreams while completely ignoring the reasons why I have not done said things, I have returned to my original conclusion: I don’t owe anyone an explanation.

While you’re working on you, it’s definitely helpful to have a support system. Whether it’s an accountability partner to keep you on track with workouts and healthy eating, a life coach to check in on your self-talk, a friend to bounce ideas off of…all of that is great. Just don’t get caught up in feeling like you need that person to move forward, or measuring your progress against them or their thoughts.

You know what you want, and you know what you need. You may not know how to get there, and if that’s you then you should certainly seek out someone who knows how to get there. But if someone is telling you how to get there (especially if that someone has not gotten there themselves) you do not have to follow the path they laid out and you do not have to explain to them why you are or are not doing it.

If you’re working a job you don’t love to make ends meet, you are entitled to complain about that job. (Probably don’t do it at work), but you have a right to voice your frustrations to friends and family, and you should be able to do so without hearing “quit your job and move, then.” They don’t know what else you have going on, and quitting your job and moving may not be possible for you at the moment. They don’t need to know that.

If someone is helping you pay for college or any type of training, that should be a gift, or you should write up a document outlining how you will pay them back that you both agree to. But you should not, for example, feel obligated to study business when you want to study art because your parents are paying for college and will only do so if you study business. If the help comes with that kind of crippling stipulation, consider not accepting the help.

Other people are always going to have opinions, we can’t get around that, but we can take their opinions with a grain of salt.

The mountains are not the only place to ski. The ocean is not the only place to boat. Hollywood is not the only place to act. School is not the only place to learn.

Wherever you choose to be and whatever you choose to do to take steps toward your goals are your decisions to make and yours alone. You do not owe an explanation to a single soul on this earth.

Change your major. Move across the country. Drop out of school. Quit your job and go backpacking. Accept a job you hate.

It doesn’t matter.

If you feel it’s the right move for you, do it.

Forget the confused reactions, those telling you you’re wrong, or, my favorite, those telling you you’re unhappy because you choose to be (i.e. Are you sad because you hate your job? You accepted the job. You haven’t quit it. You made yourself unhappy. — okay, because it’s not like we need income to live, right? And new jobs just fall out of the sky.)

I’m rambling now, so I’ll go, but just remember that you owe them nothing. Absolutely nothing.


Your Strength

Your strength is yours, and yours alone.

Some people see crying as a weakness and others see it as strength.

Some people hear strength and only think of physical strength.

Some people think walking away from a fight is weak, but others think it’s another method of standing up for yourself.

At the end of the day, your strength is how you define it.

If you don’t like how you feel, if you feel weak, then work at what will make you feel stronger.

You’ve got this!

Good Today > Perfect Tomorrow

This one comes from Passion Planner’s Instagram, and one of their mottos is “Just Start” meaning that any tiny step you take toward your goal is worth it.

That being said, I think you get points for thinking about your plan, because you’ve got to have something in your head before you can write it down, right?

The important part is having a plan.

You know that saying, “why put off til tomorrow what you can do today?”

I used to fire back with “why do today what I can put off until tomorrow?” and sometimes I still stand by that – for example, I work in corporate America, and generally any work done after 5 may as well be done at 9 the next morning. If nobody else is online to receive the work, there’s no reason for my to lose sleep completing something at 3 in the morning.

But on the other hand, you can push something off until tomorrow forever. That’s how books don’t get written, songs don’t get recorded, exercise plans don’t get started, etc. because we keep planning to do things tomorrow.

That being said, if your heart isn’t in it, I wouldn’t push yourself to do it today. If you’re feeling sick or drowsy, don’t force yourself through a cardio class. Do an at home yoga video.

Do it when you’re inspired. If the inspiration lasts ten seconds and then you think of a show you want to watch on Netflix, go back to the inspiration. Maybe you planned to run for 45 mins but instead you’re going to walk for 15. That’s totally fine! Netflix can be your reward 🙂

Falling off the wagon of your plan is perfectly okay! You don’t have to start over when you miss a day, just pick up where you left off. The plan does not have to be perfect and neither does the execution.

Work on…

You deserve the love you keep trying to give to others.

Think of that person you are always there for. The one you drop anything for regardless of what you have going on. The one who’s health and well-being is more important to you than your own.

Now imagine loving yourself that much.

Be that in tune with your own needs.

If you’re sick, exhausted, burnt out, depressed, or angry, you’re not going to be able to keep helping others.

Take care of yourself 💕

Look Good, Feel Good (Part 2)

At the beginning of this week I asked whether our inner emotions are reflected in our outer appearance.

What if we decided to do that going forward? Could that change our mood?

Let’s try it.

Check in when you wake up: how do I feel? How do I want to feel?

What can you do to change how you feel into how you want to feel?

If you’re tired, grab some coffee or try energizing aromatherapy, don’t settle for looking exhausted!

If you’re sad, put on some music that makes you smile, or even feel like dancing, don’t accept carrying a frown through your day.

Do your feet hurt? Put on some comfortable shoes!

Do you want to feel sexy? Pick an outfit that makes you feel sexy!

Let me know how it goes 🙂


Look in the Mirror, that’s your Competition

Your life will change the moment you stop competing with everyone else.

This is obviously easier said than done and will take time. You can start small by simply checking in with your emotions.

Let’s talk about jealousy today. What makes you feel jealous and what can you do about it?

To start small, there is a girl at work I used to be jealous of because she looks like a model. Her style is amazing, her hair is flawless, and her makeup is beautiful. I thought she was better than me until I realized something: this girl wasn’t doing anything I couldn’t do if I wanted. I valued sleep above all else, so I woke up thirty minutes before I had to be at the office, resulting in me throwing on the first thing I saw, tying my hair back, and running out the door. I began to experiment with going to bed earlier so I could wake up earlier, until I found a schedule that works well for me. I tried picking out outfits the night before, planning in advance how I wear my hair, and within a couple of weeks I started to get just as many compliments on my appearance as the other girl got.

It wasn’t a competition, either. I wasn’t trying to beat her, I was trying to beat the negative feelings I had inside, and I did that.

There are still days where my alarm goes off but I’m exhausted and hit snooze too many times. On those days, I give up some or all of the following: morning yoga, a cup of coffee, breakfast, makeup, styled outfit, leisurely commute.

I feel my best when I have time for all of the things I listed above, so it’s my goal to give myself two hours in the morning to set my mood for the day.

I encourage you to figure out what it is that makes you feel your best, evaluate how much time you need to accomplish that, and intentionally work to give yourself that time.

Note that you may not succeed every day. Some nights you’ll stay up later than others. You’ll get sick at some point. You’ll go on vacation, or stay at a friend or family members’, and not being at home will change your routine. That’s perfectly okay.