My mom says it a lot because we have lots of Type-A people in the family who enjoy planning and organizing and like everything to be in it’s place and happen according to plan.
According to the life plan I made when I was around 8 years old, this is the year I’m supposed to get engaged. Haha. I’m also supposed to have published a book and be working on my second album.
The only thing I can tell 8 year old me I did successfully is complete the first album. But all the songs are in the demo stage, live on my phone/laptop, and maybe 20 people have heard them.
Plans are crucial to attaining your goals, but give yourself some wiggle room for other things to happen.
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked with who, like me, thought they would get a full time job right out of college. Because when we were younger everyone said “you have to go to college to get a job with a competitive salary.” So we thought that job and salary was the next step after graduation.
They don’t tell you how hard it is to find said job, how it takes months, sometimes years, to get there.
So when you find yourself off track from your plans…remember it’s okay to not have it all figured out. That’s what life is – endless days of figuring it out.
Just saw this quote on fb and wanted to share: “You cannot heal in the same environment where you got sick.”
Let’s reflect on this for a minute.
There’s a reason doctors say to change your toothbrush after an illness, right? It holds the virus/bacteria and will make you sick again. People go to hospitals to be treated in sterile environments.
How about emotional health? Those suffering in physical or emotionally abusive relationships have to be removed from the relationship before they can begin to heal.
On the flip side, this is not to say you should pick up and move whenever something bad happens.
Say there’s an incident at work and you need to find a new job – a new job in the same city is still a new environment.
Have a toxic friend? Distancing yourself from them, choosing different hangouts, not inviting them over, etc. will change your environment. You don’t need to move across the country.
Unless you want to move across the country, out of the country, and you have the means…then do you! Enjoy yourself!
How are you doing? Are you trying to heal in the environment where you got sick? Is it time for a change?
As someone who has struggled on and off with depression, I know what a huge difference it makes to have a friend reach out, or a stranger offer a smile.
Throughout your day today, go out of your way to help someone. It doesn’t have to be big. I’m talking about smiling at each person you pass. Complimenting the person standing next to you in the elevator instead of staring at the floor in awkward silence.
Maybe call/text/email that friend you’ve been thinking about that you haven’t heard from in a while.
Have a great day!
I share this to encourage you not to hold yourself back by waiting for the right time.
Evaluate your reasoning. Are you delaying returning to school because you want to be financially stable, or because it’s not the right time and you have a 5 year plan that puts you on track to return to school at a certain age?
Similarly, it can be helpful to reward yourself for certain habits, like buying that thing on your wishlist as a reward for saving money. But don’t forget to reward yourself just because.
If you want a nice dinner, a spa day, to see a movie, whatever it is…go do it. Because you’re alive and you deserve to. It doesn’t have to be special. You make it special.
When you feel like nothing is working, remember that it’s okay to start over.
Sometimes you have to start from scratch with a fresh spreadsheet.
Sometimes you have to scrap the meal, head to the grocery store and begin from the top.
Sometimes you have to restart the song.
Of course, there will be times when the show must go on, and you have to plow ahead with what you have…but that’s not every time.
Starting over is not a failure. It’s a fresh perspective, a blank slate, a second chance.
It’s completely okay.
Learn from your mistakes and trials to see how to change it up in the future.
You’re doing fine – you’re exactly where you need to be.
I read a quote on Instagram today that said “you’re a human BEing not a human DOing, focus on who you want to be and you’ll be lead to actions to support that.
I love this because some of us get so caught up in not liking our every day tasks at work that we forget where doing those tasks for a bit may lead us. We complain about things that bother us or frustrate us, ignoring how those experiences are shaping us for the future.
Who do you want to be?
Work to make sure your happiness does not lie in another.
People will always disappoint you – it’s sad, but true. It won’t always be of their doing. We can’t control whether a friend moves away, a significant other loses interest, or a family member dies.
If another person is the key to your smile, your world will fall apart when they fail, and it’s up to you to pick yourself back up.
This negative stigma around selfishness needs to be fought. Yes, we should be there for and help one another to the best of our abilities, but not to the detriment of our own health.
Notice where your happiness lies today.