Life Happens to Your Plans

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “life happens to your plans.” 

My mom says it a lot because we have lots of Type-A people in the family who enjoy planning and organizing and like everything to be in it’s place and happen according to plan. 

According to the life plan I made when I was around 8 years old, this is the year I’m supposed to get engaged. Haha. I’m also supposed to have published a book and be working on my second album. 

The only thing I can tell 8 year old me I did successfully is complete the first album. But all the songs are in the demo stage, live on my phone/laptop, and maybe 20 people have heard them. 

Plans are crucial to attaining your goals, but give yourself some wiggle room for other things to happen. 

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked with who, like me, thought they would get a full time job right out of college. Because when we were younger everyone said “you have to go to college to get a job with a competitive salary.” So we thought that job and salary was the next step after graduation. 

They don’t tell you how hard it is to find said job, how it takes months, sometimes years, to get there. 

So when you find yourself off track from your plans…remember it’s okay to not have it all figured out. That’s what life is – endless days of figuring it out. 

Forgive Yourself

When I was about 10, my best friend’s little sister asked me to carry her. We were at a church picnic, she was tired and didn’t feel like walking down the steps. She was maybe 5 at the time, but I wasn’t a great deal bigger than her. I tripped while carrying her down the stairs. 

Besides a small scratch on her arm, she was fine. She didn’t even cry. But I did. I refused to hold another child for a while after that. I stayed far away from babies. 

Sometimes forgiving yourself is harder than earning the forgiveness of others. 

This can really hold you back. 

Whatever you did…it’s in the past. You can start again, you can rebuild, you can move forward. Grant yourself permission ❤️

In Another

Work to make sure your happiness does not lie in another. 

People will always disappoint you – it’s sad, but true. It won’t always be of their doing. We can’t control whether a friend moves away, a significant other loses interest, or a family member dies. 

If another person is the key to your smile, your world will fall apart when they fail, and it’s up to you to pick yourself back up. 

This negative stigma around selfishness needs to be fought. Yes, we should be there for and help one another to the best of our abilities, but not to the detriment of our own health. 

Notice where your happiness lies today. 

No Stress Zone

Happy Hump Day! 

Anyone else having a tough week? 🙋🏽

Take comfort in knowing it’s half over 😊

Some ways I’ve been de-stressing: 

1) Refuse to take my work home. 

Whatever happens at the office stays at the office. I did all I could, I might have stayed late, but once I leave for the day everything else waits until tomorrow. 

2) Yoga

Perfect for relaxing at night or gently starting the day. 

3) Talking to friends

Venting is a good outlet, just make sure it’s to the right people. 

What are your tips and tricks to relieve stress after long work days?

I’ll Be Happy When…

How do you finish that sentence? What will make you happy? Is it a certain age, job, vacation, home?

I’ve been told that happiness is wanting what you have. But how do you learn how to do that? 

Say you like new, but you have an old hand me down car, and it’s green, and you hate the color green. You take care of it, but the heat and AC don’t work, the speakers crackle which drives you insane, and it’s not a smooth ride. It constantly breaks down, and you’re spending countless dollars every month getting various things fixed. 

I think it’s safe to say this car doesn’t make you happy, and you don’t want the car. You may NEED it to get to work, but you WANT a different car. 

If you can afford it, I think upgrading your car could make you happy in this case. 

So I don’t really think happiness is always wanting what you have. I think it’s more about recognizing the things you can be grateful for. 

You can start a savings plan for your new car, and stop harborig hate for your current car by being grateful that it gets you where you need to go. You may not call this “happy” – but it can give you a sense of calm on your journey to something that brings you happiness.

At the Same Time

My favorite Taylor Swift lyric is “we’re happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. It’s miserable and magical.”

I love it because of the accuracy. 

Some people say it’s impossible to feel conflicting emotions at the same time, but it’s very possible. 

You can feel happy despite receiving bad news. Free although your boss/teacher/parent makes many of your decisions. Confused even when you’re following an explicit set of instructions. Lonely when surrounded by people. 

It sucks. It’s…miserable.

But also magical. 

Because you’re human. And you’re able to feel things. Many things. How many creatures are this complex? Our brains are magical. 

Sometimes you feel all the things. At the same time. And that’s totally okay. You’re not crazy. You’re human. 

Embrace everything today. Let it all in. Take deep breaths. You’re still here for a reason. 😊

13 Reasons Why

If you haven’t heard of 13 Reasons Why, it’s a Netflix original based on Jay Asher’s novel about a teenager girl who commits suicide and leaves cassette tapes to the 13 people who impacted her decision. 

This show is extremely relevant and I urge everyone who is in high school or who has teenage children to watch it. 

Many scenes are not easy to watch – that was done on purpose and it’s so important. 

The show illustrates how depression begins and escalates. You will learn warning signs of depression and abuse. The frontal lobe is not fully developed until your 20s, so many adolescents are not able to properly communicate what they are thinking and feeling. 

When you’re young it feels like a certain feeling is going to last forever. Those of us who have been through it and come out of it understand that it is a moment in time, but these kids don’t. They can’t see the end – they can’t feel it. 

As someone who has personally experienced too many of the issues depicted in this series, please watch it, or read the book. Talk to your kids about this. Talk to your friends and your parents. Spread awareness. 

We need to talk about mental illness because it is so common. It shouldn’t be taboo. No one should feel outcast or isolated by asking for help. 

You are not alone. You matter. You deserve to be here. You are loved. 

Delayed Gratification

My mom often says “sometimes you just have to sit in your discomfort” and until recently it made no sense to me. I think I just didn’t like how she phrased it. 

I prefer to think of it as delayed gratification. 

In most job settings, its customary to give 2 weeks notice, but usually that’s the employes choice. You CAN just up and leave. But what’s 2 more weeks in a job you don’t like to keep a positive relationships with the employer? You may need to return to that job, or use them as a reference. 

I’ll give you a personal example: I absolutely detest the apartment I live in. 

The management is horrible and rude, many days I go without hot water, there are too many bugs, the neighbors take noisy to a whole new level, the list goes on…well my lease is up in September. 

I’ve already found my new apartment, it’s still being built. It’s supposed to finish in August, but I learned the other day that it will actually be ready in May. When I got that notification, I strongly considered breaking my lease or even paying rent at both places for 4 months. Living here causes my psyche that much stress. 

But God told me to be patient. Save my money. Good things come to those who wait. 

Whatever it is that’s causing you heartache, take comfort in knowing it’s not forever, even if it feels like it and you can’t see a way out. 

For some of you, you CAN see a way out, and that makes it worse for you because it isn’t time to leave. You want to run to the exit but you have to walk or crawl. 

Good things come to those who wait. 

We will get there, and it will be beautiful. 

Keep trying. You’re doing fine, and you’re exactly where you need to be. 

I Am Secure

One of my biggest fears is being alone forever. 

In the past year, I’ve done my best to combat this fear by finding things I enjoy doing alone. This includes my home yoga practice, writing, watching tv, and listening to music. 

Learning about myself and enjoying myself has been a huge step in finding my security. 

Maybe you don’t have an issue with self security, and for you this mantra is more physical in terms of safety. It could have to do with where you live, or having a parental figure in your life. 

Find what makes you feel secure, but be careful not to depend on that. Find your uplifting strength ✨💕