Uniqueness

I’m kicking off the first 100 days of 2019 with a devotional a friend gave me for Christmas, 100 Days to Brave: Devotions for Unlocking Your Most Courageous Self by Annie F. Downs. I’m loving it so far and highly recommend checking it out, but mention it because today’s topic of uniqueness is what inspired this post.

The author addresses how God made each of us with intention; it is no accident that no two of us are the same.

It’s been said that comparison is the thief of all joy, and I believe this to be true. In the social media age that we live in, comparison seems down right impossible, so it helps to consciously remind yourself of the context. Catch yourself in the thought “this person is perfect” and ask yourself some questions: are they famous? if so, they likely have a stylist, hair & makeup team, etc. so of course every single post is going to have great lighting and show them looking their best. Think about the number of pictures you’ve taken of your food before you got the one you posted… that food blogger probably did the same thing.

You are you, and you are not a mistake. You have the training and skills that you have because they are specific to your personal path.

Sometimes our talents or their uses are difficult to see so we’ve got to help each other.

I have a friend who makes her own planner stickers. I buy mine off of Etsy, so when she told me how much time she spent designing her stickers, I suggested she start her own Etsy shop. There are tons of sticker shops on there; I saw no reason why she couldn’t own one, too, but she immediately gave me a list of excuses as to why she could not start a shop, going on an on about how many people were already doing it, how much work it would be, etc. I asked her how much of it she would really consider “work.” When she first spoke to me about designing the stickers, she spoke with such passion. She loves it. I, on the other hand, thought it sounded like a large amount of work that was dull and mundane, which is why I prefer to purchase my stickers, but she loves designing. She has softened to the idea since our initial conversation, and now I check in on her every so often to make sure she is working on it (and she is).

I have a co-worker who does wedding planning on the side, and she doesn’t have a website. She said she doesn’t have the time to create one or to handle the influx of customers it would bring. She can’t be a wedding planning full time with her current job. “But what if you are supposed to be a wedding planner?” I asked her. “What if this job’s purpose is to stabilize the start of a different career that you love?” Now she’s thinking about it.

Can you see your friends’ talents in ways that they can’t? Ask how they envision you using yours.

Throughout the years I’ve heard many complain about how the person who sits next to them in an office or classroom did not work as hard as they did to get there and it was unfair. I, too, have been guilty of the thought, “this can be done without a college degree, why did I get one?” But consider this: the work that you went through on the journey to today was not for the same purpose as the person sitting next to you. Maybe you will become the CEO of the company and the guy across the office will take what he learned and start his own company, completely unrelated to your current business. Or maybe his company will become a competitor to yours. Who knows?

The point is that we are all on our own path. We are unique. We are individual. This is okay. This is good.

I say good and not easy, because life is not easy. Being unique isn’t easy. Especially when we cannot see the purpose.

The preteen being bullied for their love of cartoons doesn’t know they’re going to become an artist at an animation studio. They just know they’re being bullied and want to hide their interest so they can fit in, because that’s what’s important at that age.

Just like you may not know how today’s experience is going to affect tomorrow.

Trust that you are exactly where you need to be, today, in this moment.

Embrace what is unique about you.

You have your own purpose in this world that is for you and you alone to fulfill.

Let It Be What It Is

Maybe it was supposed to be just one date. Whether bad or a good, it doesn’t have to turn into anything else – not a full blown relationship, not a friendship, and not an enemy.

Maybe that friend was supposed to get you through college. Whether they kept you on track academically or helped you blow off steam (or both), they don’t have to stand next to you at your wedding, or be in your life forever.

Everything may happen for a reason, but that does not mean we get to know and understand the reasons for each individual event in our lives.

Your smile to a stranger on the subway may be the light they need to stop contemplating suicide, and you may never see them again to know that.

We need to stop trying to force everything into a box of what we personally see as meaningful, because sometimes we don’t get to see it or feel it.

Trust that it’s happening.

Let things be what they are!

So that person didn’t call you back. That doesn’t mean dinner was terrible. You have no idea what else is going on in their life.

So you didn’t get the job. Do you feel like you crushed the interview? Did you walk out of there feeling like you got the job? Take that confidence into your next interview.

You’re doing fine – more than fine. You are exactly where you need to be.

Perseverance or Insanity?

Perseverance: steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

Insanity: extreme foolishness or irrationality.

At what point does steadfastness become foolishness?

How long do you go after something you want?

Your dream.

That person you love.

A new job.

When do you know to choose between “if you love something, set it free, and if it comes back, then it was meant to be” and “never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about” ?

The answer?

Only you know.

Annoying, I know, but here’s what I’m saying: your steadfastness is different than mine. Your foolishness is different than mine.

It would be foolish of me to run a marathon tomorrow, but it would not be foolish of someone who wanted to run the marathon and trained for it.

Let other people call you foolish or insane. It’s true in their minds.

Who cares, if it’s not true in yours?

Make Beautiful

It’s not always easy to see, and sometimes it takes years, but never stop looking for the beauty in everything 💕

Lukewarm is No Good

You Owe Them Nothing

I took a break from posting for a bit because I wasn’t feeling authentic…I was spending a great deal of time looking for good quotes to inspire other people but realized I wasn’t believing the words or feeling inspired myself.

After various conversations that ended in anger because people didn’t “get” what I was trying to say, or them telling me what I need to do to find happiness and fulfill my dreams while completely ignoring the reasons why I have not done said things, I have returned to my original conclusion: I don’t owe anyone an explanation.

While you’re working on you, it’s definitely helpful to have a support system. Whether it’s an accountability partner to keep you on track with workouts and healthy eating, a life coach to check in on your self-talk, a friend to bounce ideas off of…all of that is great. Just don’t get caught up in feeling like you need that person to move forward, or measuring your progress against them or their thoughts.

You know what you want, and you know what you need. You may not know how to get there, and if that’s you then you should certainly seek out someone who knows how to get there. But if someone is telling you how to get there (especially if that someone has not gotten there themselves) you do not have to follow the path they laid out and you do not have to explain to them why you are or are not doing it.

If you’re working a job you don’t love to make ends meet, you are entitled to complain about that job. (Probably don’t do it at work), but you have a right to voice your frustrations to friends and family, and you should be able to do so without hearing “quit your job and move, then.” They don’t know what else you have going on, and quitting your job and moving may not be possible for you at the moment. They don’t need to know that.

If someone is helping you pay for college or any type of training, that should be a gift, or you should write up a document outlining how you will pay them back that you both agree to. But you should not, for example, feel obligated to study business when you want to study art because your parents are paying for college and will only do so if you study business. If the help comes with that kind of crippling stipulation, consider not accepting the help.

Other people are always going to have opinions, we can’t get around that, but we can take their opinions with a grain of salt.

The mountains are not the only place to ski. The ocean is not the only place to boat. Hollywood is not the only place to act. School is not the only place to learn.

Wherever you choose to be and whatever you choose to do to take steps toward your goals are your decisions to make and yours alone. You do not owe an explanation to a single soul on this earth.

Change your major. Move across the country. Drop out of school. Quit your job and go backpacking. Accept a job you hate.

It doesn’t matter.

If you feel it’s the right move for you, do it.

Forget the confused reactions, those telling you you’re wrong, or, my favorite, those telling you you’re unhappy because you choose to be (i.e. Are you sad because you hate your job? You accepted the job. You haven’t quit it. You made yourself unhappy. — okay, because it’s not like we need income to live, right? And new jobs just fall out of the sky.)

I’m rambling now, so I’ll go, but just remember that you owe them nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Something We Love

What do you love to do? Are you making time for it?

Down & Up

This one was too good not to share! Perspective.

Treat Yourself Better

When you’re attacking your own looks, decisions, and abilities, pause and ask yourself if you would say those things to your best friend.

Would you call them up and tell them they’re fat and ugly? Stupid? Not good enough? Undeserving of love?

Seems ridiculous to even ask, right?

Treat yourself like your best friend.

You are beautiful. You’re smart. You’re enough. And you deserve every ounce of the love you give to others, and more. 💕

You Matter

You matter.

You are not here by chance, but for a reason.

You are loved, and you have purpose beyond what you can imagine.

Those dreams inside you are there for a reason. Chase after them.

Sending you love & light this weekend 💕✨