Not All Negative Memories are Bad

I’m currently reading The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz. The focus of the last chapter was to only deposit and withdrawal positive memories from your memory bank.

To start, I agree with the idea.

I think we should all do our very best to focus on our positive memories, however, I think we should keep in mind that negative thoughts, experiences, and memories are inevitable.

Negative memories are valuable. How would you know not to grab the handle of the boiling pot on the stove if not for that memory of nearly burning yourself?

What about your past relationships? There is a reason that each of those relationships ended.

If you could make all the negative memories disappear so all that was left was the good things, would you not be sitting around wondering why you’re no longer with that person? You may even go back to them until they remind you why you left in the first place.

They key isn’t to focus only on the positive, it is to acknowledge the negative and then supplement it with something positive.

Think of someone close to you that you’ve lost, whether it be to death, they moved away, or you simply grew apart.

Thinking of this person makes you sad. Acknowledge that. Let it in. Feel it.

Now think of how good that person made you feel when they were a part of your life. Think of the times you laughed together. Think of their smile.

You could not possibly miss this person as much as you do, or feel as sad as you do without them, if they had not been so wonderful. If not for the positive memories they gave you, you would have nothing to mourn.

Would you rather go through life never feeling happy because you don’t want to feel sad when it ends?

Or would you rather embrace the lows so you can experience the highs?

We have to experience sorrow to appreciate joy.

Pain keeps us safe. It makes us put on sunscreen, and stop holding our breath after a certain point.

Next time you’re sad, or angry, or scared, just think about how happy, how excited, and how elated you will be when that next great thing comes around.

The Secret

This week I watched The Secret, a documentary about the law of attraction and the power of positive thinking.

The gist of the film is that we attract everything that happens in our lives – if you’re constantly negative and worrying, you attract bad things, but if you’re constantly positive and expecting good things, you attract good things.

You can find the film on Netflix, and if you choose to watch it, fair warning, it’s pretty out there. I’m highly skeptical about many of the things that are said, including some ridiculous examples that make no sense.

I will say, however, that there are some hidden gems in the documentary that make it worth watching.

One of those hidden gems is the idea of a gratitude list. Write down everything that you’re thankful for, and run through this list at least once a day. I like to do it in the morning and incorporate it into my prayer.

The film also talks about visualizing the end result of what you want without dwelling on the “how.” The idea is that if you know what you want, and you can visualize it, meditate on it, and believe that one day you will have it, then the “how” will show up one day.

I’m not sure how true that is, but I like it. Some of us have no idea how to get what we want, but that’s not a reason to stop trying.

If anyone can make it through the whole documentary, or even a little bit of it, I’d love to hear your thoughts!